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Thursday, August 4, 2011

In The Valley - Part 3

  I am walking towards the light.  It is a very bright, white light. What is this place?  As I get closer, I hear the incessant beep, beep, beep, beep. Blinking, I try to focus. Someone is speaking to me.  "Breathe, come on now.  You need to breathe.  Stay with me ", the woman says.   I look to my right to see a nurse standing there. My mouth is so dry, I cannot speak.  She tells me that I am in recovery and that the doctor will be in to talk to me soon. 
  I remember now.  I had surgery.  My surgeon, Dr. Beale, comes in.  "I talked with your family but I wanted to tell you  myself.  It is cancer and its invasive."  I look in his kind eyes and say, "OK".  Then he asks "You knew, didn't you?  When you were in my office, you knew it was cancer."  How do I answer that?  I have always been able to tell when something bad was about to happen to me. Not by an ache or pain. Just a sense that something is off.  I felt that in his office.  I felt it would be cancer.  I just smiled at him and closed my eyes.  Dr Beale patted my shoulder and told me we would talk next week when I came in to see him to discuss options.
  Later after returning home, I lay on my sofa and drift off to sleep.  The pain of the surgery is contained by the meds I am on.  As long as I lay still, I am comfortable.  I go to sleep thinking there will be some difficult days ahead. A voice says,  "I am with you always." I try to open my eyes but I can not.
  I smell Lavender.  Such a wonderful fragrance. Opening my eyes, I see a  sky that is so blue and the leaves on the trees are so vibrantly green.  What is going on??  There are no trees in my house.  I feel around, almost afraid to move. My finger move through thick grass.  I look down and find that I am laying in a luscious meadow.  It is so beautiful here.  I don't want to move but I am curious and decide to explore.  I stand and walk around the giant tree.   It stretches so high that it seems to reach the sky.  I look out over the meadow and see a stream winding lazily through the valley.  I walk over and put my hand in the cool, clear water.  It feels so good.  I just have to taste it.  I cup my hands and take a drink.  It tastes clean, cool, and wonderful.  I feel safe and at peace.
 The sky is so beautiful.  Pink, white, yellow, red, and gold flowers are all around. I feel strong.  Stretching up towards the sky, I am pain free.  This is wonderful.  Thank You I think to myself.  "You are welcome, child", the voice says.  Smiling, I continue my stroll through the meadow.  As I walk, my body feels stronger and more energetic.   This has given me exactly what I need for the battle ahead.

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