In The Valley - Part 10

Reyla tells the Guardian that the next thing she remembers is being brought to their Chief.  Priya asks Reyla to describe how she felt upon waking.   Thinking back as she answers Priya.  "I was sore but otherwise  felt normal.  I noticed that my top was a bit tighter than normal but I just attributed it to swelling from where I was stabbed. Other than feeling slightly lightheaded, I felt OK."

I drift off to sleep as I listen to the Guardian's story. I am suddenly back in the hospital waking up after surgery.  Sharp, burning, pain radiates across my chest. My arm is weak from where the lymph nodes were removed. I am heavily bandaged across my chest and wrapped in an Ace wrap.  I try to move and the pain is so intense I want to cry but my throat is sore and dry.  As usual, I have been out for hours after surgery because I am difficult to wake from the anesthesia. The nurse tells me to eat ice chips to soothe my throat.  Cancer has begun leaving its marks on me.  It has taken my breast, what next.

The only family I have in this city is standing beside my bed when I awake.  She tells me that I did well in surgery and that the doctors will come to see me soon.  I cannot even think because of the pain.  I try to smile so she won't worry yet I only manage to grimace.  So I just whisper, "I'm OK".

The nurse tells me that I need to use a breathing machine when i try to cough.  She explains how to use the machine but I must be still high because it makes no sense to me.  I can't even move that little ball an inch.   I start to remember waking in recovery and being told to breathe. The next thing I remember is being painfully moved onto the hospital bed.  I'm told that was hours ago.  Guess I must have passed out.

I am told by the nurse that I can't have anything to drink until I am able to urinate.  Yet another indignity to endure, the bedpan.  It is hours before I can even attempt to urinate.  They have been pumping my body full of IV fluids.  The nurse is concerned that I have not been able to go so she does an ultrasound of my bladder.  She tells me that it is very full and I should try to go. 
 
That was an experience I don't want to repeat.  I started and stopped several times before I finally finished. I am running a fever so I am given medication which soon puts me back to sleep.  The next morning, the plastic surgeon removes the Ace wrap and changes my bandages.  Later, I am given juice and jello for breakfast.  I eat the jello.  I am not hungry.  The nurse helps me to get up and I slowly walk down the hall.  Dr. Beale is there when I return to my room.  He asks if I have eaten and I tell him only jello.  He orders the nurse to give me a regular meal. He also tells me to stay until the next day.

 As I am eating, I began to see dark spots and my head starts to hurt.  I am nauseous and cannot eat any more.  I tell the nurse what is happening and she tells me to try to rest.  It is so noisy in that hospital that resting is difficult. After a fitful night, I try to eat breakfast again  and the symptoms return.  After making arrangements to go home to my dark, quiet room so I can get over the headaches,  It takes hours for the nurse to bring my release papers.

Finally, I arrive home and immediately go to sleep in my nice quiet, dark room.  I return to the Guardian Gemira.  She continues her tale of battling the enemy that has attacked their home and its people.

In The Valley - Part 9

  
Guardian Priya recognized the injured young woman as Reyla, a member of village warriors that patrol the borders. Reyla has dark brown eyes with flecks of gold that cause her countenance to always appear serious. She is tall and muscular with strong features. Yet there is gentleness about Reyla that draws others to her. She is often seen surrounded by the young ones who hang on her every word. Yet, Reyla treats them all as if they are her own as she patiently answers all their questions and encourages them to learn new things.

Guardian Priya leads Reyla through the village and down a small incline beneath a giant tree that leads to an intricately designed beautiful mahogany door. The guardian waves her hand across the door and it silently opens. Inside the room is filled with light and has tables of vials, potions, and various plants throughout the space. There are shelves of writings. Reyla has never seen anything remotely like it. Being a warrior, Reyla tries to mask the awe she feels as she looks around the room. She recognizes some of the remedies as those she has received when injured in the course of her duties. Yet others are completely foreign to her.

Guardian Priya instructs Reyla to take a seat. As Reyla sits on one of the benches nearby, Guardian Priya begins to examine her. The first thing Priya notes is that Reyla's aura has changed. The Guardians have the ability to discern the slightest changes in their people's auras. It is like looking at a rainbow of light that surrounds each person. There are the normal subtle light changes that signal happiness, fear, anger, peace, pain, or even confusion. But this change in Reyla is more pronounced and distinct. It adds another layer to the normal light that is Reyla's.

Guardian Priya begins to question Reyla about where she was cut and how. Reyla tells her about being captured by the Capote. "I was trapped under some kind of thin but heavy cloth that fell on top of me as I walking patrol. The more I struggled to get out of it, the tighter it seemed to cling to me. I managed to draw my boot dagger and stabbed through it and rip downward. As I was cutting an opening, something hit my head. After that, I awoke in the Capote camp. The smell was enough to make me wretch. I was held inside another woven tent like structure. There was just enough room to stand up."

  "I watched the guards and noted that there were other tents in the same area. I could not see inside them but I felt fellow villagers were being held in them. The Capote are hideous with their claw like hands with razor sharp fingers and pointy teeth. Their eyes have a bright yellow glow and dominate their faces. Their bodies seem to stretch and bubble as their shapes shift." Reyla continues describing her capture.

"Let me out of here", Reyla screamed, more to get a reaction out of the guards so I could see if there were other guards hidden from my sight. Two guards approached, growling and hissing. One shouted at me to be quiet. Of course, I did just the opposite. "I demand to know why you are holding me here," I said. That seemed to anger them. Two of the guards quickly grabbed my arms and pulled me forward. Suddenly, I felt this searing pain in my right chest. I screamed in agony as tears ran down my face. The guards released their hold on me and I crumbled to the ground. I had never felt such intense pain. I curled up in a ball and tried to breathe. I felt as though I would lose consciousness again. As I looked up, I saw the sharp finger of one of the guards dripping with blood. He had stabbed me.  The pain was intense and I passed out again. "

In The Valley - Part 8

           I am meeting my Oncologist today, Dr G.  After healing from the surgery,  I am working on getting the full range of motion back in my right shoulder.  The surgeon has told me that if Lymphadema becomes an issue, then I will need Physical Therapy.  Dr. G and I discussed how my breast cancer was discovered.  After sharing my story, the doctor asks if  I had noticed any change in the breast itself.  There was abnormal growth that occurred within a few weeks, I gained over a cup size.  At the time, I remember attributing it to weight gain but it turns out that it was a result of the fast growing cancer.

        In order to stage my disease and design a treatment plan, the Oncologist required more testing.  I had a full body bone scan, a CT of chest, abdomen, and pelvis.  Later a PET scan was done because the other scans were inconclusive.  

      Finally,  with staging complete, my Oncologist reveals that I have metastatic Breast cancer which is treatable but cannot be cured.  I knew that meant advanced disease and that once it spreads beyond the breast, the cure rate is very low.     Yet, I know something the oncologist may not yet understand.  God is the ultimate Healer.  There is no problem too great, no disease he cannot heal. Man may not be able to cure me, but God can. 

    I am given my treatment plan which includes Trastuzumab because my cancer is also HER2 positive,  Dr. G  also tells me that due to the indication of metastasis in the bones, I will also receive a regimen of Zometa.  All I can think of is how expensive it is to fight this disease.  As anxiety starts to seep in, I take a deep breath and talk to Jesus.  A Scripture springs to mind, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".  I hear you Lord, I say as I resolve to move forward.

      As I sit through my first session of chemotherapy, which takes about 3 hours,  I look around at all the other patients. There are young, old, and everyone in between.  There is so much sickness.  I say a prayer for them.   I see the worried looks that my cousin tries to hide as she sits with me.  She watches every move that the nurses make.  I, constantly, tell her that I am fine, no discomfort, no pain, no nausea, nothing.  She smiles and says, "that's good".  After treatment is over, we return home and I immediately go to sleep, which the nurse had told us was to be expected.
    
  I am no longer surprised to find myself back in the dream again.  The Guardian Gemira continues to tell me  her story as though I never left.  Maybe in the dream world I never did.  Could a part of my subconscious remain here even after I wake??
   

In the Valley - Part 7

Expecting an all out attack from the the Capote, the warriors stood guard at the perimeters of their villages.  As night fell, the Capote began to infiltrate the boundaries of the villages.  Taking on the image of the guards, they captured some of the villagers who appeared unafraid.  The Capote leader attempted to intimidate the villagers into revealing where their leaders were. The leader, Brayak, growled loudly at the captives as spit flowed from his jagged teeth.  "You will tell me what I ask or you will die", he bellowed.

  One of the villagers stepped forward and said to Brayak,  "If you leave now, we will allow you to go in peace."

     The Capote chief, rose up to his full height, puffed out his budging chest and let out a loud hissing fowl laugh.  "You will allow, You will allow!  We will destroy all of you. There will be nothing left of this place when we are done.  We have destroyed thousands,  you are nothing to us.  Only fuel for our bellies."

 With that, he turned and revealed writhing tentacles rising from his back and shoulders.  As the tentacles stretched toward the villagers,  a hum began to vibrate the ground, and a piercing blue light filled the air. The villagers bowed their head and began to speak to the One.

  In an instant the villagers were gone. Left in their place was only those shape-shifter Capote who had taken on their images.   Brayak's tentacles struck them just as the villagers disappeared. Being rather single minded creatures whose only focus was Attack and Destroy, the Capote became  disoriented.  They began to attack the impostors not realizing that they were not the captured villagers. The blinding light made it impossible for them to see their enemy.

  As the bright blinding light began to diminish, Brayak realized that somehow they had been moved further from the villages.  As he looked at the fallen, Brayak began to scream a hideous, awful, curse because all of the dead were his own tribe. 

  Brayak wondered aloud, "How is this possible.  None have ever defeated us."  "RETREAT!, Now!", he ordered.  Understanding that he needed to study his enemy before attacking again.  Brayak began to form a new plan.  "I will be victorious", he vowed.

....Meanwhile, back at the SaHillelyra village, the villagers that had been saved from the Capote began to emerge from the giant roots of the trees.  As the people rejoiced,  the Guardian, Priya stepped forward and spoke quietly to them.  "You must not go to your homes yet.  Come with me and I will explain.  Though you appear uninjured,  there may still be danger. " 
 One of the formerly captured villagers said, "Guardian Priya, I was cut by one of the enemy.  I feel fine but they watched me closely after they cut me.  Please tell me what to do."

  Guardian Priya bowed her head for a moment.  Looking up into the eyes of the villager, she said "I will help you.  Fear not. "

In The Valley - Part 6

The Tale of the Guardians

Centuries ago the land was lush, bountiful and full of many people and animals. A collection of villages, whose inhabitants were known as the SaHillelyra, lay in the midst of the land. They were a tall, strong, intelligent people with kind hazel eyes and quiet melodious voices. They were easily identified by the Platinum streak of hair that extended from the front to the back of their heads. It was said that they were born with the knowledge of the Lands. The SaHillelyra built their homes with material from the forests around them, always being careful to use only what was necessary and to replant what was taken. Some among them could name every plant and its medicinal purpose. Thus they were greatly sought by those who were sick around them.

 They were stewards who watched over the land and cared for its inhabitants. Whatever anyone needed, they would either provide or teach them to do for themselves. The SaHillelyra people lived in harmony, led by seven SaRah, known as the guardians. The SaRah travelled to a central point in the land, known only to the most trusted. There they would commune with the One and give thanks for the blessings of their tribes. The details of the ceremonies were only shared as needed. Much mystery surrounded the Guardians.

    As time went on, strangers arrived in the land. Most were friendly and became members of the villages. One day a dark shadow was seen off in the distant northern sky. At first, the people barely noticed it. Slowly the dark shadow began to grow larger and the people grew concerned.

      The Zavala, a group of the new inhabitants, began to mumble about trouble brewing in the North. They spoke of creatures that would swarm over the inhabitants of a land and attack, maim, and destroy anyone in their path. They were called the Capote. A fierce, dark, stealthy creature with razor sharp claws, slimy skin, and morphing bodies.  It was frightening to watch them take on the outer image of things near them.  Looking closely, a slight rippling could be seen along the surface of their new shape.  The SaRah noticed this and communicated a warning to the people.

       The SaRah already knew what was happening and had made secret preparations. They brought each of their villages together and taught them how to fortify their defenses. A new style of dress was designed so that the villagers were protected from head to toe as long as they wore the battle dresses. The young and very old were secreted away through underground passages.  Warning outposts were setup to sound the alarm when the Capote reached the outskirts of the land.

        Using a system of interconnected tree roots, the SaHillelyra scouts used instruments that made sounds like thunder. As the Capote crossed the borders, the thunder began to rumble across the land. The SaRah had instructed the people to continue with their daily activities but to stay ready for battle. It would take more than a day for the rampaging Capote to reach the villages.

In The Valley - Part 5

Scrambling over the rocks, the path starts to incline steeply.  I hear those awful creatures coming for me.  I will not give up.  Up ahead the path narrows, maybe if I can get there, I can block it somehow.  Its so eerily quiet except for the hissing creatures.  The sun has gone down.  There are dark shadows along the passage walls and grounds.

 Almost reaching the point where the path narrows, a sudden searing pain lashes across my chest, "Awwwwww!!!"   I look down to see blood pouring down.  I can hardly breathe and each breath is agony. White hot fire seems to be  piercing my body.  I can barely draw a breath.  I don't know if I can make it through the pass.  My legs feel like they are encased in cement and my eyes are so heavy.  I just want to lay down.  I want to rest.  Oh God, help me.

 Suddenly there are hands on me.  Gentle hands, lifting me.  Voices tell me that I am safe... Everything turns black.  Some time later, I awake to find myself lying in a soft bed inside a rustic wooden cabin. There is an old grey-haired lady sitting by a fireplace.  "where am I ? What happened?"  My wounds are bound tightly and the pain is much less than before.

"We found you at the pass and brought you here.  My name is Gemira.  I am one of the Guardians of this place.  You have nothing to fear here.  Rest and be well."

  "Guardian, of what, why?" I ask.

Gemira began to tell of the history of the Guardians.

In The Valley - Part 4

    With renewed strength, I began to journey further into the valley.  There is bright light shining just over the horizon that I am determined to reach.  Reaching the end of the meadow, the ground begins to turn rocky and dusty.  Part of me wants to stay in the meadow, but I know that I must keep moving.

   Waking up in my home,  I feel rested and content.  My family is there watching me.  "Are you hungry?"  I say yes even though I am not really but it will make them worry less if I eat.  Moving around to the kitchen table, I accidentally pull my drain.  The pain is so sharp and immediate that I holler before I can stop myself.  I close my eyes as tears roll.  Taking a deep breath I settle myself and look into worried eyes and say "I'm OK now."

  Later that night, I close my eyes to rest.  The creatures are back, scrambling over the rocks as they try to reach me.  One of them leaps onto my shoulder, its razor sharp claws digging into my flesh.  I stifle a scream as I grab its scrawny, slick neck and fling it against the rocks.  It splatters open and gives off a hideous odor.  I run as quickly as I can.  More are chasing me as blood drips from my wounds.

In The Valley - Part 3

  I am walking towards the light.  It is a very bright, white light. What is this place?  As I get closer, I hear the incessant beep, beep, beep, beep. Blinking, I try to focus. Someone is speaking to me.  "Breathe, come on now.  You need to breathe.  Stay with me ", the woman says.   I look to my right to see a nurse standing there. My mouth is so dry, I cannot speak.  She tells me that I am in recovery and that the doctor will be in to talk to me soon. 
  I remember now.  I had surgery.  My surgeon, Dr. Beale, comes in.  "I talked with your family but I wanted to tell you  myself.  It is cancer and its invasive."  I look in his kind eyes and say, "OK".  Then he asks "You knew, didn't you?  When you were in my office, you knew it was cancer."  How do I answer that?  I have always been able to tell when something bad was about to happen to me. Not by an ache or pain. Just a sense that something is off.  I felt that in his office.  I felt it would be cancer.  I just smiled at him and closed my eyes.  Dr Beale patted my shoulder and told me we would talk next week when I came in to see him to discuss options.
  Later after returning home, I lay on my sofa and drift off to sleep.  The pain of the surgery is contained by the meds I am on.  As long as I lay still, I am comfortable.  I go to sleep thinking there will be some difficult days ahead. A voice says,  "I am with you always." I try to open my eyes but I can not.
  I smell Lavender.  Such a wonderful fragrance. Opening my eyes, I see a  sky that is so blue and the leaves on the trees are so vibrantly green.  What is going on??  There are no trees in my house.  I feel around, almost afraid to move. My finger move through thick grass.  I look down and find that I am laying in a luscious meadow.  It is so beautiful here.  I don't want to move but I am curious and decide to explore.  I stand and walk around the giant tree.   It stretches so high that it seems to reach the sky.  I look out over the meadow and see a stream winding lazily through the valley.  I walk over and put my hand in the cool, clear water.  It feels so good.  I just have to taste it.  I cup my hands and take a drink.  It tastes clean, cool, and wonderful.  I feel safe and at peace.
 The sky is so beautiful.  Pink, white, yellow, red, and gold flowers are all around. I feel strong.  Stretching up towards the sky, I am pain free.  This is wonderful.  Thank You I think to myself.  "You are welcome, child", the voice says.  Smiling, I continue my stroll through the meadow.  As I walk, my body feels stronger and more energetic.   This has given me exactly what I need for the battle ahead.

In the Valley - Part 2

Feeling around the rock face, my fingers touch a thick vine running down the rock.  Using only my fingers, I pry it away from the rock.  As I test it to see if it will hold me, the sound of rock rolling against rock reaches me. I start to pull myself up the vine, the shifters are getting closer. 

  There is no time for fear of heights now. As I begin to pull myself up, something grabs at my foot.  Instinctively, I kick out and connect with something rubbery and solid.  The impact radiates up my leg.  "Climb now!"  There's that voice again.  I have to admit that is good advice so I redouble my efforts and begin to move faster.  Climbing higher and higher, until I reach the ledge.  I pull myself onto the shelf of the cave like depression.
  
There is a sliver of light shining from deep inside the cave.  I grab a sharp sliver of rock and cut the vine loose.  I feel weight on the vine.  Those shifters are climbing up.   As the vine severs, the "SPLAT" of the shifter hitting the rocks echo in the darkness.

 For now I feel safe.  I lay back to rest a moment and get my bearings.  "Get Up, follow the light".  Its that voice again.  I feel comforted by that voice.  Maybe because I feel that I am not alone.  Maybe because the voice seems to care for me.  Regardless, I listen and obey.  I begin to walk toward the light.

In The Valley - Part 1

I awoke from what seemed a very troubling dream.  It was so dark and still as though it were the middle of the night.  I could see nothing but inky darkness at first.  Then my eyes begin to adjust.  I saw strange shapes shifting in the darkness.

 It seemed that the shapes were whispering, "get her, get her, get her!".

 I know they are coming for me.  My body shivers as my blood runs cold with fear. I shrink back from the edge of the plateau that I had awaken on.  How did I get here?  

 I try to throw rocks at the shifting shapes and I actually land a few good hits.  It seems to be working as they shrink back from me.  I watch in horror as the first one that I hit suddenly multiplies into two more.  I look for the others that I had hit and see they are multiplying also.  I cannot defeat the growing hoard.  I must get away. 

  I look about for a way to escape, any way.  All I see is dark shadows.  Are there any opening in this rocky valley.  There must be a way out.  How did I get here?  I close my eyes.  I listen, sniff the air, feel the shift in the air on my skin.  There a very slight breeze tickling the top of my head.  I look up and there in the distance is a dark depression.  Could that be a way out.

  I stand up being careful to stay out of reach of the shifters (that what I decided to call them).  I try to reach up to pull myself up to the depression but I am not tall enough.  I see a branch protruding from the side of the rock face next to the depression.  Now if I can just find something to pull myself up to it.  The whispers are getting louder. 

My Surgery Prayer

Lord Bless the surgeons to have clear, sharp, and focused minds.
Bless their hearts to be confident, compassionate, and caring.
Bless their hands to be steady, precise, and unerring.
Bless the surgeons' spirits to be calm, peaceful, and anchored so that you may guide them in my care.

My Lord, please, bless the support staff in the OR, in Recovery, and the hospital to be focused, attentive, compassionate, and loving.  Send your Angels to stand in Gap and protect this your child. 
Amen

The Purpose of this Blog

Read, Share, Think, Encourage. 

Live long enough and something unexpected will happen.  It may be illness, injury, lost of a loved one, etc. .  I chose to write to release my pain and deal with the unexpected.  My imagination takes me outside of my circumstances and allow me to be....

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